Kindness

We celebrated Mom's 55th birthday this past Friday. I wanted to share a bit about all the kindness that she received on her birthday.

As Dad related in his post, she was not feeling well that day and it was particularly challenging as her pain didn't seem to be manageable and had been going on for days. I was able to take her to Huntsman for an evaluation and there were several little sunny moments that I wanted to share. Mom's PA is Melissa. She responded beautifully to Mom's needs and went out of her way to ensure that Mom was heard and cared for. She came to see Mom in the lab rather then waiting for her to make it over to the clinic, and she went out of her way to talk with me and give me great instructions on how to care for Mom's symptoms. In such a difficult situation it is seriously such a tender mercy to have such kind, patient and talented doctors looking after my Mom.

Earlier in the week my friend suggested that we gather letters for Mom's birthday-such a genius idea! So Dad worked hard to request letters for Mom and they came pouring in throughout the week. I cried as I read each letter and we were SO excited to give them to Mom. On Friday morning Dad had to leave for work as Mom was hurting so badly and the mood in the house was not as cheery as it usually is on a birthday. So I pulled out the letters I had printed and as I was on the phone with Huntsman getting her in for that day, Mom sat in her chair and started reading. As she read she just cried and laughed and cried some more. Each of the letters offered some fun memories as well as thoughts about Mom and offered support to her. It was so timely!! She needed to read those words of encouragement and she needed to remember all the good things that she has done and all the people that she has touched. There is something that happens when we suffer. Our mind seems to forget some of our reasons for living as our body just focuses on the pain and our mind searches for a release from that pain. I'm not saying that Mom was wanting out, but I'm sure she started asking herself if this pain was ever going to end and how could she keep on dealing with this. I pulled out the letters again as she was receiving her IV that afternoon and we both cried as a read them out loud to her. As the daughter of an incredibly kind women who has served others her whole life, it is difficult for me to watch my Mom struggle with being served by others. But, those letters many of your wrote...those AMAZING letters, I just want you to know that you all made such a difference that day. She needed to feel of your love and encouragement and to remember why she matters and you all did that so beautifully. It's such a small thing, that was honestly probably a bit inconvenient for many of you in this busy life we all lead, but you made such a HUGE difference in lifting her spirits. Thank you so much!

I've thought many times in the last few weeks about how to answer people when they ask what can I do for your Mom or how is your Mom doing? I have known many people who suffer in this life and I have been guilty of thinking, I'm sure their family is taking care of everything. Or, I'll just respond if they tell me there is a specific need they have. But I have learned that when a family is in crisis and someone is suffering and needing care, that time when someone happens to bring dinner by just as I'm home from work and trying to take care of everything and I'm exhausted-that has renewed my faith in mankind, right then. Or the time when we come home and there are grocery's on our porch from someone (we hope to find out who!) or there are flowers and a card, or a phone call checking in, or someone just coming over to sit with Mom when everyone has work or other obligations-man, those times are the times I remember how far little acts of kindness go. Mom read everyone's comments on the blog when she is up for it. She reads every note that she gets and saves them to re-read. She is being sustained by her faith, her family, and your kindness.

Thank you for your kindness. Cancer has surely taught me that you do not know what other people are going though and not to judge, just to be kind. May you all be blessed for your kindness :)