A litle "John Denver"

Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. Sometimes the hard times won't leave us alone. Today feels like it's made of boulders. Last night I made Lu promise to call the doctor today and see if they had the results of her biopsy yet. I shouldn't have done that. I didn't think the doctor would tell her the results over the phone. I thought if it was bad news they would have us come in for a consultation. How wrong I was. My beautiful wife did as I asked; called and left a message with the doctor's office asking if they had the results. The doctor called her back and told her the mass in her shoulder is more of the leiomyosarcoma. (The same cancer she had before, and the same cancer that's in her lung.) Lu found out this morning and didn't tell me until I got home because she didn't want to ruin my day. Even with a horrible message like that, she put my feelings first. Can you blame me for loving her so much? I think our human nature and our desire to dodge bad news sometimes makes us dig a big hole and bury any thoughts that the future might not be as bright as we want it to be. Whether that's right or not, that's what we did. Deep inside we both felt like the lump on her right shoulder was more cancer, but we wouldn't let ourselves believe it. Now the ugly truth has broken through. Our new reality is that the cancer has spread to areas even the doctor's didn't think it could spread to. If it's in her lung (probably spread through her blood) and in her shoulder in some random spot, (not her lymph nodes) how did it get there, and where else is it? I guess we should find out, but at this point the chances of just cutting out one spot are gone. We're not sure, but the only option left is to go through chemo again. Cancer is like a new Electrolux vacuum; it really sucks! The good news is, I think we're much better prepared to go through this again. It's very discouraging, but we know the day will come when the chemo will be finished and we can get on with our lives. We didn't know that before. We're praying that our spirits will stay strong and we'll be able to see life as more than just making it through one day at a time. We have such a strong family and support system. The blessings that come from wonderful people's prayers are already being felt. We welcome them and are grateful for all of the prayers you send our way. To our family; hang in there. Be strong. Have faith and believe in Christ! Search deep inside your soul and find the peace that comes with knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us much more than we love each other. I don't know how that's possible, but I know it's true. I have felt his arms encircle me and hold me close. Your mother has felt it, too. He will give you the same assurance if you ask him humbly and sincerely; then have the patience to wait for your answer. We know life isn't fair. We know things aren't equal and everybody isn't treated like we think they should be. We know people make rash decisions and judge others unfairly. All of that is true. On the other hand, (Rep Tevye) for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The worse things get, the better they get. For everyone that's rude or judgemental or cruel, someone else is being kind and open and loving and welcoming to people they don't even know. Somewhere in the world someone is helping others without any expectation of something in return. Someone is being blessed even more than they've been hurt. We're here and we love each other because there was a wonderful plan presented to us and we were given the option to follow it, or not. Lucky for us; we all chose to go through this. We all agreed that we would face any trial or hurt or heartbreak or slight or pain we were given for the chance to be together forever with our Heavenly Father as a family. Hang in there! We can do this! We have everything going for us! And on those days when it doesn't feel like we'll ever be done with this we have someone to turn to. We have someone that will do anything we ask, as long as we ask with faith and real intent, and understand that the blessings only come after we've done all we can do. We have so many blessings! Thanks for letting me rattle on. I'm beginning to feel like maybe today is filled with diamonds, not stones. Who would have known? Ken