Mom's Prognosis

Hi, friends. Shawnee here.

We wanted to give a little update about what's going on with mom. I'm sure a lot of you are newcomers to the blog who were directed here through mom's YouCaring fundraiser. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, click here. Through that website, you can read more about mom's backstory, diagnosis, and the financial struggles of our family.

The outpouring of love that our family has received in the past few days is overwhelming. In the darkest time of our lives, we have felt the love of so many amazing people, and this has brought peace. Thank you so much.

I have been tasked with writing about the current status of our dear mom. On Monday (7/31) we met with mom's oncologist at Huntsman. So much happened during this visit. We were all either there or on FaceTime. We were able to see her scans from April and compare them with the scans she had done July 25.

What you're looking at is mom's lungs from above. The large black sections are air in her lungs. I have circled the tumors so you can see the amount of growth that they have had within 3 short months. This scan doesn't show it, but it's actually 3 large tumors on/in moms right lung.

The large gray mass is mom's liver. The spot that is circled is the size of mom's tumor in April. We didn't take a picture of the current scan, but it now takes up about half of her liver.

These aren't the only tumors that she has, but these are the most significant.

As you can see, these are significant growths for only 3 months. The oncologist let us know that, because of the rapid growth, mom has between 1-2 weeks and 1-2 months to be with us. To say we are devastated is an understatement. Mom has fought so hard. As we were embracing each other and crying, the sweet nurse turned to mom and said, "Cancer didn't win. You still won." And she is right. Mom is a survivor, and she won. She has fought with everything she has, and I am so proud of her.

This picture was taken as we were getting the news from mom's incredible. Mom LOVES her team at Huntsman. Dr. Werner and her team are heaven-sent. She cried with us. They all love mom - she is the ideal patient. She loves them so much and she is so sweet and never impatient or rude. They've all blessed each others' lives.

Sweet nurse Emily who reminded mom that cancer didn't win - she did.

Mom's team. There are no words to adequately thank these angels for the care they have given. They are truly such kind souls and they care so much. What an incredibly hard job to have. They handle it with beauty and grace.

Dr. Werner let us know that mom's pain will get much worse very quickly and she will begin to have a harder time breathing (she already gets very out of breath easily and coughs a lot). Luckily they will be able to keep mom very medicated so she isn't in pain (and dad promised mom that he won't let her experience any pain), but with the amount of pain killers she will be on, she will be very tired and won't be able to move around a lot.

As of yesterday we have 1-2 good weeks left with mom; it would be an absolute miracle if she is still lucid after 3 weeks. Hospice came in today and did an evaluation. Hospice care will begin immediately. We are so grateful for them and that mom is able to be home during all of this.

People keep asking how we are doing, and it's hard to explain. We are devastated. There is not even a word to describe how we are feeling. It's so hard to mourn someone who, from the outside, looks healthy. It's impossible to imagine that in a couple of months, she won't be here anymore. It's so hard to watch her decline so rapidly, and I know that any of us would do anything to take the pain away from her. We are all trying to memorize her voice and the way she feels and smells.

We feel so lucky that we are able to say everything we want to say to her, and we are able to shower her in love and adoration, but it's still so hard. There's never a good or easy time to say goodbye to someone you love so deeply. She's the best woman I have ever, and will ever, know. It's also incredibly hard to watch dad say goodbye to his sweetheart. Anyone who has seen them together knows that their love is truly unique and it runs so deep.

For now we are spending as much time as possible together (speaking of which, if anyone has access to buddy passes please reach out to Loni at lonikenn@gmail.com so we can get Jenny and her family here from Tucson ASAP). Mom has loved having visitors, but she does get tired quickly. There will come a day when we will feel it's best for only immediate family to visit, but for now, she is loving talking to people. Please contact dad or one of the kids to set up a good time to visit.

If you're wondering what you can do, it's come to a point where we will just be honest. We have a lot of needs right now that we weren't anticipating. Mom and dad need meals. People who are staying here and caring for them need meals. My sisters and brother need meals. We are all so overwhelmed and so busy trying to plan and prepare and we don't really have any time at home or time to prep anything.

We need help covering expenses for the funeral and medical bills, and you can read about that and donate by clicking here. Mostly we need prayers and positive thoughts. We don't want mom to feel any pain. We don't want it to be long and drawn out so she is suffering. Mom is so worried about losing her dignity in all of this.

We love you all. Truly. I'm sorry if all of this is too blunt and to the point, but honesty is the best policy, and it's too hard to sugar-coat it. Sure do love you!